北京君诚学校家校讲堂 | 如何教会孩子对他人友善：学会对他人友善，不仅仅对孩子的社交、情感、健康有好处，而且会让孩子终身受益。在最近的调查中，世界公司的首席执行官们都表示：友善和同理心是他们招聘职员的两个重要特质。然而，在当今的数字时代，孩子们的“屏幕所占时间”比“与人相处的时间”更多，因此培养善良和同理心变得越来越难。心理学家建议，以下这些方法可以用来帮助孩子们来发展这些特质。Showing kindness is good for the world. It’s good for your child’s social and emotional development and health. In recent surveys with CEOs of the worlds leading companies kindness and empathy were two of the traits they looked for in leadership positions. However, in today’s digital age where children have more ‘screen time’ than ‘people time’ it has become harder and harder to foster kindness and empathy. Leading psychologist offer the following ways to help develop these traits in children.

1、与您的孩子经常谈论感受。当您和孩子谈话时，注意观察他们的面部表情，看到他们的感受。“我从你的脸上看到你在悲伤或生气。”当你看到其他人拥有类似的表情时，问问你的孩子，这些人的面部表情给你的感觉如何，你觉得他们现在是什么样的心情。让您的孩子了解他人的感受，将有助于他们开始理解每个人都有自我情感。

Speak to your child about feelings often. When you see your child’s feelings talk about what you see based on their facial expression. “I can see from your face that you are sad or angry.” When you see other people with similar expression ask your child what does their face tell them about how they are feeling. Getting your child to see how others are feeling will help them to start to understand that everyone has feelings.

2、教会您的孩子感恩。告诉您的孩子，拥有家人、拥有这一切是一件多么幸运的事。世界并不完美，所有一切也不是平等的。首先，您应做出示范，对孩子表示感谢。向您的孩子表明您非常感激您的家庭、您的工作、您的生活和您的家人，让您的孩子知道，不是每个人都像你们的家一样幸运，这就是真实的生活。让您的孩子尽早学习生活中的事实，有助于使您的孩子学会对自己所拥有的一切表示感恩。感恩是学习同理心的步。Teach your child to be grateful. It’s never too early to teach your child how lucky your family is to have all that they have. It’s not a perfect world and all is not equal. You should model gratitude for your child. Show your child that you are very grateful for your home, your job, your life and your family. Let your child know that everyone isn’t as lucky as your family. It’s a fact of life. Learning this fact of life early, helps center your child and helps him learn to be grateful for all that he has. Being grateful is the first step to learning empathy.

3、研究表明，经常参加慈善活动或社区义工活动可以提高孩子的同情心和自尊心。让您的孩子每年两次整理出一个盒子，收拾自己的一些旧玩具、旧书、旧衣服等，准备捐给慈善机构或者是社区。让您的孩子自己完成这件事是很重要的。将所有东西整理好之后，让您的孩子写一封简短的便条，上面写着谁曾经拥有过这些东西，感谢未来的主人把这些东西带走，并希望新主人像他曾经一样喜欢它们。捐赠事物并为需要帮助的人提供帮助，是建立同情心的重要组成部分。Now that we’ve learned it’s not a perfect world, we want to teach kindness. Teach your child to care about others. Research shows that children who get involved and donate to charity groups have improved empathy and self esteem. Ask your child twice a year to put together a box to donate to charity. In this box should be toys, books and clothes that your child no longer wears, reads or plays with. It is important that your child does this himself. After putting these things together, ask your child to write a short note, telling who ever gets these things thank you for taking them and that he hopes he enjoys them as much as he did. Donating things and being part of giving to those in need is a big part of process of building empathy.

遵循这些步骤并与您的孩子交谈会非常有助于孩子的心理健康。当读书成为一种习惯时，将他们从电视、电脑和平板电脑中分离出来也会很顺利。友善和同情心是关于朋友、家庭和社区的。我们无法从虚拟世界中学到这一点。Following these steps and talking to your child and modeling kindness and empathy will help to develop these traits in your child. Putting books in your Childs hand, and pulling them away from the TV and computer and IPAD will go along way as well. Kindness and empathy is about people, friends, families and communities. We can’t learn that from computers.